China may have accessed Mythos, according to a new report from Semafor. The White House’s decision to impose export restrictions on Anthropic’s cutting-edge AI model was partly driven by fears that it had been accessed by a group linked to China. If the Chinese government actually had access to Mythos 5 or Fable 5, it would present a serious national security risk—imagine the commie bastards stealing our latest and greatest AI brain! The government could also attempt to reverse engineer the model through distillation, a method in which a “student” AI is trained on a more advanced model to replicate its behavior. It’s like they’re copying our homework but still struggling with the final exam.

But wait, hold onto your Mao caps! The White House hasn’t officially confirmed this report yet. A post on X by Trump advisor David Sacks didn’t even mention China—he focused on something else entirely, probably blaming it on the Democrats or his own bad hair day. So, are we sure China really had their mitts on Mythos, or is this just another tall tale to spice up the AI news cycle? Maybe Anthropic’s model was so impressive that even Chinese AI geeks couldn’t resist a peek—kind of like how everyone wants a slice of our tech pie!

Speaking of pies, let’s not forget that reverse engineering through distillation isn’t exactly rocket science. The Chinese could churn out their own version of Mythos in no time, but will it be as snappy or smart? Will they finally crack the code on human-like reasoning, or end up with a model that just nods and smiles while spitting out random facts? And what if they overdo the distillation—will their AI end up more student than teacher, chattering endlessly but missing the point?

So there you have it: China might have snuck into Mythos, making our nation’s AI dreams—and security—a bit shaky. But with distillation at their fingertips and Sacks still debating whether to blame the Chinks or the libs, who knows if we’ll ever truly pinpoint the source of our AI anxieties? One thing’s for sure—whether it’s Chinese fingers or American advisors, the race to master AI is heating up faster than a Beijing wok!