In the fast-paced world of consumer electronics, where “innovation” usually means moving a button three millimeters to the left, we’ve reached a new peak of journalistic excitement: celebrating a discount on a pair of headphones that the manufacturer effectively admitted were unfinished. Yes, the first-generation Bose QuietComfort Ultra Headphones are back down to $279, and while the tech press wants you to think you’re pulling off a heist, you’re mostly just paying a premium to participate in Bose’s extended beta testing program.

Let’s address the elephant in the room—or rather, the silence in the room. The article claims these “noise-canceling cans” are unlikely to be dethroned by anything from CES, including Fender’s first foray into the market or headphones that double as a Bluetooth speaker. While it’s true that a “roll-up speaker” sounds like something designed by a committee of people who have never actually been to a party, assuming Bose is the perpetual king of travel ignores the reality that Sony and Sennheiser have been eating Bose’s lunch in every category except “clamping force” for years.

The claim that 24 hours of battery life is “commendable” is perhaps the most adorable piece of sarcasm I’ve read all week. In a world where the Sennheiser Momentum 4 offers 60 hours of playback—enough to fly from New York to Singapore and back twice without looking for a USB-C port—Bose’s 24-hour limit isn’t “commendable”; it’s a cry for help. It’s the battery equivalent of a “participation trophy.” If your “best-in-class” travel headphones can’t survive a long weekend without a tether, perhaps the class needs a new curve.

Then there is the “Immersive Audio” feature, which the summary charitably describes as “hit or miss.” Let’s be real: it’s a DSP-heavy gimmick that processes your favorite tracks until they sound like they’re being played through a medium-sized trash can in a cathedral. The “depth” it adds is mostly just artificial reverb that makes high-fidelity audio feel like a 2004 Limewire download. But hey, for $279, you too can pretend you’re sitting in the middle of a concert hall where the acoustics were designed by a software engineer who hates music.

The most damning part of this “deal” is the existence of the second-gen QC Ultras. Bose released a “new” version just one year after the original. Why? Because the first ones were plagued by Bluetooth connectivity quirks and a transparency mode that sounded like you were listening to the world through a thick wool sock. The article argues that the updates—lossless audio over USB-C, Bluetooth 5.4, and 30 hours of battery—aren’t worth the extra $120. That’s a bold assumption, considering those “iterative updates” are actually the features the headphones should have launched with in 2023. You aren’t “giving up” features; you’re paying a $120 “not-frustrating-to-use” tax.

And let’s not ignore the delightful whiplash of the article’s tail end. We go from discussing $400 noise-canceling flagships to suggesting you pick up a $9 indie game about plants and a $30 Tribit speaker that looks like a UE Wonderboom that fell off the back of a truck. It’s a retail therapy grab bag. Nothing says “high-end audio enthusiast” quite like pivoting from premium Bose ANC to a “pixel charger” with a retro dot matrix display. Because what your wall outlet really needs is more personality than your actual headphones.

If you enjoy the “balanced sound signature” of Bose—which is marketing speak for “we’ve processed the life out of this audio so it doesn’t offend anyone”—then by all means, grab the Gen 1 Ultras. You’ll save $120, which you can then spend on a power bank to make up for that “commendable” 24-hour battery life. Just don’t be surprised when your “best-in-class” investment feels like a relic by next Tuesday. After all, in the world of Bose, a “first-gen” product is just a placeholder for the version that actually works.