Ah, the classic tech journalism cycle: dust off a perfectly capable machine, fail at basic maintenance, try to install a different operating system without reading a single manual, and then run screaming back to the walled garden of Cupertino while writing a 1,500-word eulogy for “the year of the Linux desktop.”

The Verge recently graced us with an article titled “I went back to Linux and it was a mistake,” and if it were any more predictable, it would be a Hallmark movie sponsored by Apple Silicon. Let’s dissect the logic—or lack thereof—behind this “unforeseen” disaster.

**The “Ancient” 2019 Powerhouse**

The author starts by claiming a 2019 Dell XPS 15 with a Core i7 and 32GB of RAM was “frustratingly slow” on Windows. In what universe is an i7 with 32GB of RAM—specs that still outperform most “budget” laptops sold today—struggling to handle a desktop environment? If Windows is crawling on a machine that could comfortably host a dozen virtual machines, the problem isn’t the OS; it’s likely the three hundred Chrome tabs and the neglected “startup apps” folder.

Claiming this hardware needs “new life breathed into it” is like saying a Ferrari needs a new engine because you haven’t changed the oil since the Trump administration. It’s a 2019 machine, not a Commodore 64.

**The Jet Engine in the Room**

Then we have the “fan at full throttle even when idle” complaint. The author blames Windows. Windows has its faults, but it generally doesn’t possess the magical ability to defy the laws of thermodynamics. If a five-year-old Dell XPS is screaming while sitting on your desk, it’s because the heatsink is currently a sweater made of cat hair and dust, or the thermal paste has turned into a dry cracker.

The “tech expert” solution? Don’t buy a $5 can of compressed air or spend ten minutes with a screwdriver. No, just install Ubuntu and act surprised when the hardware—which is physically overheating—continues to have issues. If your car is smoking, changing the brand of gasoline isn’t going to fix the hole in the radiator.

**The “Useless Error” Phenomenon**

The crux of the article is that Ubuntu threw “truly useless errors.” For those who don’t speak Tech Journalist, “useless error” is usually code for “a dialogue box appeared with a specific error code that I didn’t bother to Google.”

Ubuntu 24.04 and its predecessors are arguably the most “it just works” distributions in history. They come pre-loaded with drivers for almost everything in a Dell XPS (a machine Dell literally sells with Linux pre-installed). When an OS fails “quietly,” it usually means a driver conflict or a botched installation media—both of which are user-fixable if you have the patience of a caffeinated squirrel. But apparently, if there isn’t a Genius Bar nearby to pat your hand, the software is “broken.”

**The M1 MacBook Pro Escape Hatch**

The inevitable conclusion of every “Linux is too hard” article is the pivot to the M1 MacBook. It’s the tech equivalent of a “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster. “I couldn’t figure out how to update my repositories, so I spent $2,000 on a laptop where the hardware is soldered shut and I don’t have to think anymore.”

Switching to a Mac because you couldn’t handle a Dell XPS is a valid consumer choice, but framing it as a failure of Linux is like blaming a professional-grade kitchen because you burned your toast. Linux offers unparalleled freedom, privacy, and performance for those who know how to use it—or at least those who know how to follow a Wiki.

**The Takeaway**

The article isn’t actually about Linux being a mistake. It’s a confession of the “Verge-style” tech user: someone who wants the aesthetic of being a power user without the actual “power” or “user” part.

Linux didn’t fail this author; the author’s refusal to troubleshoot a five-year-old laptop’s thermal issues failed the hardware. If you’re looking to “breathe life” into an old machine, maybe start by cleaning the vents before you blame the kernel. But hey, I guess “I cleaned my laptop and it worked fine” doesn’t generate nearly as many clicks as a dramatic breakup with an open-source mascot.