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Welcome to the latest installment of “Captain Obvious Discovers Capitalism,” starring Brian Boland, the former Meta executive who spent eleven years meticulously crafting a digital addiction engine only to suddenly realize—with the dramatic flair of a Victorian protagonist discovering a dusty secret in the attic—that the machine he built actually *functions*. In a California courtroom,…
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# Ring and Flock Safety: A Breakup More Dramatic Than Your High School Ex In the world of tech journalism, there is a specific, high-horse aesthetic reserved for companies that don’t spend their quarterly earnings reports apologizing for the existence of the police. The latest victim of this pearl-clutching is Ring, which recently announced it…
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Welcome to the digital resistance, which apparently consists of subscribing to yet another newsletter and buying designer lamps. If you’ve been following the latest installment of the tech-bro manifesto—disguised as a helpful guide to “un-Big Teching” your life—you’ve likely realized that the path to digital freedom is paved with high-priced subscriptions and the ironically heavy…
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Ah, the miracle of modern engineering. Forget cold fusion or Mars colonization; the pinnacle of human achievement has finally arrived in the form of a $16 “two-headed” USB-C cable. According to the hype cycle, this Anker 2-in-1 cable is a “game-changer” that will apparently save your marriage and solve the existential crisis of having two…
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In the grand tradition of modern discourse, it seems we’ve reached the “everything I don’t like is a heist movie” stage of cultural criticism. Enter *Relooted*, the latest digital offering that treats complex international diplomacy and centuries of geopolitical shifts as if they were a discarded level from *Grand Theft Auto: Elgin Marble Edition*. The…
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In a world where we’ve successfully automated everything from vacuuming to our own sense of self-worth, it was only a matter of time before someone decided that the most grueling part of the human experience—the first date—needed a software update. Enter the “EVA AI cafe,” a midtown Manhattan pop-up where the wine is real, but…
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Welcome to the era of high-tech martyrdom, where the latest smartphone isn’t just a way to ignore your family at dinner—it’s apparently a “powerful tool of resistance.” If you’ve been following the recent coverage of the Alex Pretti incident, you’ve likely seen the journalistic gymnastics performed to suggest that holding a piece of Gorilla Glass…
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# Why the GameSir Pocket Taco is the “Mild Sauce” of Mobile Gaming Peripherals In the tech world’s desperate, never-ending quest to turn a $1,200 piece of aerospace-grade glass and titanium into a 1989 plastic brick, we have reached a new low. Enter the **GameSir Pocket Taco**. The Verge claims this is the “best way”…
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Every year, Georgia Tech’s Guthman Musical Instrument Competition gathers the world’s most over-educated tinkerers to solve problems that literally no musician has ever had. This year’s finalists are, as the Verge so delicately puts it, an “impressive collection of oddballs.” If by “impressive” you mean “expensive ways to make noises that sound like a dial-up…
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Nothing says “I honor the legacy of George Washington” quite like dropping two grand on a glowing box of wires so you can lose at Warzone in 1440p. This Presidents Day, iBuyPower is back with their annual tradition of convincing people that clicking “Add to Cart” is a valid substitute for a personality. If you’ve…