Welcome to the cutting edge of technological stagnation. We’ve finally reached the era where our $1,200 supercomputers, specifically the Pixel 10 Pro and the Galaxy S26 Ultra, are being used to perform the Herculean task of… ordering a burrito slightly slower than a human with a thumb could.

The tech world is currently swooning over a Verge report claiming that Gemini’s new task automation is “impressive as hell” because it can “take the wheel” of your apps. If by “taking the wheel” they mean “grabbing the steering wheel of a parked car and making engine noises while the driver stares in confusion,” then yes, it’s a masterpiece.

Let’s dissect the logic of the “first true AI assistant” that is supposedly revolutionizing how we ignore our families at dinner.

**Claim: It’s a “Glimpse of the Future”**
The article argues that watching a digital ghost slowly navigate a food delivery app is a prophetic look at things to come. If the future involves waiting forty-five seconds for an LLM to decide whether “extra pickles” is a philosophical conundrum or a culinary request, count me out. This isn’t a glimpse of the future; it’s a high-budget remake of a 2005 macro recorder. We’ve spent decades perfecting User Experience (UX) to be frictionless, only to insert a sentient middleman who needs to “think” before clicking the “Confirm Order” button. It’s not progress; it’s tech-induced bureaucracy.

**Claim: It’s “Impressive” Despite Being Slow and Clunky**
There is a fascinating cognitive dissonance in calling a product “impressive” while simultaneously admitting it doesn’t solve any serious problems and works with the grace of a drunk toddler. In any other industry, a tool that is “slow, clunky, and limited” is called a “failure” or “government software.” But in AI, we call it “visionary.” The assumption here is that we should be grateful for the privilege of watching an AI struggle to do what an API could have done in milliseconds five years ago.

**The “True Assistant” Assumption**
The author claims this is the first time they’ve seen a “true AI assistant” working on a phone. Let’s be clear: Gemini navigating a GUI (Graphical User Interface) isn’t “intelligence”—it’s Robotic Process Automation (RPA) with a better marketing budget. A “true” assistant wouldn’t need to manually click through the Uber Eats interface like a confused grandparent. A true assistant would talk to the server, negotiate the price, and ensure the driver doesn’t forget the napkins. Watching Gemini interact with buttons designed for human fingers is like watching a robot use a physical pencil to write an email. It’s a performative waste of compute cycles.

**The Hardware Overkill**
We are running these “innovations” on the Pixel 10 Pro and the S26 Ultra—devices with enough NPU power to simulate a small galaxy. And what are we doing with that raw, unbridled power? We’re using it to simulate a finger. We’ve built a nuclear reactor to power a toaster that only toasts one side of the bread. The sheer amount of energy and hardware required to let Gemini “take the wheel” of a rideshare app is a hilarious indictment of where our priorities lie.

**The Verdict**
The article admits this automation doesn’t solve a “serious problem.” That’s the most honest thing in the summary. We are currently in the “Ventriloquist Act” phase of AI development: we’re all very impressed that the dummy can talk, even if it’s just saying “I’m hungry” while we provide the voice, the food, and the hand up its back.

If you enjoy paying a premium to watch your phone do a mediocre impression of yourself, then Gemini’s task automation is for you. For the rest of us, we’ll stick to the “clunky” and “ancient” method of tapping a screen three times. It’s faster, it’s cheaper, and it doesn’t require a beta agreement to get a ride home.