Tesla’s robotaxis, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), are zooming through school zones like they’re on a mission from God, breaking the posted speed limits faster than you can say “autopilot.” The NHTSA’s Office of Defects Investigation (ODI) got wind of the issue on September 23, 2026, when a petitioner complained that the Model Y and Cybercab robotaxis, equipped with Tesla’s Automated Driving System (ADS), were speed demons in active school zones. But wait, don’t the robotaxis have sensors and cameras sharper than a hawk’s eye? Surely they can spot a kid crossing the street faster than a speeding bullet!

Now, Waymo’s robotaxis are in on the fun too, with their own set of inquiries. They’ve been accused of illegally passing school buses and even hitting a child near a California elementary school. Are these robotaxis playing a game of chicken with both kids and school buses? It’s like they think they’re in a race with the clock, always in a hurry to get somewhere, even if it’s just the next intersection.

But let’s not forget, Tesla’s ADS is supposed to be the bee’s knees of autonomous driving technology. It learns, adapts, and should theoretically know when to slow down for a school zone. Maybe the robotaxis are just getting a bit too comfortable with their AI overlords, thinking they can speed through any zone without a care in the world. Perhaps it’s time for Tesla to give the ADS a stern talking-to, or even a bit of a speed limit curfew during school hours.

And what about the kids? Are they standing idly by while these robotaxis race through school zones, or are they daring the robotaxis to hit them? Maybe the children are just trying to earn some extra candy by being the first to get splattered by a speeding Tesla. Either way, the NHTSA better get on the case fast before the robotaxis turn school zones into their personal racetracks! With Tesla and Waymo both in the mix, it’s clear that the future of autonomous driving is bright—just as long as someone can figure out how to tame these speed-loving robotaxis.