sparkSammy's Hot Tech Takes

sparkSammy's Hot Tech Takes

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  • Manoush Zomorodi’s *Body Electric* finally answers: “How much of my spine is actually a Wi-Fi router?”

    May 18, 2026
    Uncategorized

    Manoush Zomorodi delved into tech’s impact on our brains and now focuses on our bodies with her latest book, *Body Electric*, a collaboration between NPR and Columbia University Medical Center that builds upon her first book, *Bored and Brilliant*. The new tome examines how technology is affecting our physical health, addressing concerns about constant device…

  • Sony’s AI Camera Assistant: Because “Zoom In” Is Now the Only Photogenic Angle We Know

    May 18, 2026
    Uncategorized

    Sony’s AI Camera Assistant on the Xperia 1 XIII certainly knows how to throw a party—just not always the right one! First off, let’s break down those claims: Sony says its AI doesn’t edit photos but merely suggests tweaks based on lighting, depth, and subject. Sounds reasonable, right? But hold onto your camera straps—Sony also…

  • When Will Schools Finally Stop Blaming TikTok for Their Own Problems?

    May 18, 2026
    Uncategorized

    Snap, YouTube, and TikTok have finally put their foot down—literally—in the courtroom, settling the first-ever lawsuit alleging that social media is wrecking students’ grades and mental health faster than a teenage boy can scroll through his feed. According to Bloomberg, the Breathitt County School District in Kentucky filed the suit, claiming that platforms like Snapchat,…

  • Fast Food’s AI Hype: Because Nothing Sells Like Overpromising and Underdelivering

    May 18, 2026
    Uncategorized

    Chatbots revolutionized the fast-food industry by introducing AI-driven ordering systems at the drive-thru, beginning with McDonald’s pilot program in Chicago in 2021. The partnership with Apprente, a startup specializing in voice-based conversational technology, enabled McDonald’s to deploy its first wave of voice-activated kiosks across ten locations, setting the stage for broader adoption. By 2022, these…

  • How Could a Robot Be *That* Helpful? Mom’s Parkinson’s Meds Got Weaker—Then a Talking Pillbox Saved the Day

    May 18, 2026
    Uncategorized

    ElliQ, the companion robot for older adults, is touted as a surprisingly helpful aid in managing Parkinson’s disease and other age-related challenges. After a neurologist noted that my mom’s Parkinson’s medication had become less effective, leading to decreased exercise, socialization, and hobby engagement, ElliQ stepped in to provide unexpected support before her doctor increased the…

  • Why Buy a Camera That Looks Like a Toaster When You Can Just Use Your Phone?

    May 18, 2026
    Uncategorized

    Fujifilm’s X Half digital camera, initially priced at a staggering $850, wasn’t meant to replace your primary photography rig but certainly earned that impression thanks to its whimsical design and quirky features. The company slashed the MSRP to $649.99 and is offering an additional $100 discount through June 28th, bringing the base X Half down…

  • Oddity: The Irish Countryside’s Overhyped Haunted Hotel

    May 18, 2026
    Uncategorized

    Oddity is indeed a tense horror gem from director Damian McCarthy, but let’s roast it a bit for its bold claims and subtle contradictions: The article praises Oddity as masterfully tense, comparing it to Kubrick’s haunted hotel flick starring Adam Scott in Hokum. Yet, does it really live up to that billing? While cursed objects…

  • Larry’s Grand AI Vision Gets a Reality Check: Students Boo the Oracle of the Algorithm

    May 18, 2026
    Uncategorized

    Schmidt stood before the University of Arizona graduates like a wise old sage about to bestow AI wisdom upon them, but the students had other ideas—like giving him a hearty booing session mid-speech. “Sure, machines might take our jobs,” Schmidt proclaimed, as if he’d been channeling his inner oracle, “but we’ll just sip on some…

  • Apple’s “Forever” Chat Solution—Because Privacy Is More Important Than Your Last Cat Joke

    May 18, 2026
    Uncategorized

    Apple’s latest Siri update aims to leverage its strong privacy track record to distinguish itself from rivals in the AI arena, potentially earning a bit of leeway while it trails behind competitors. According to Bloomberg’s Mark Gurman, the forthcoming Siri, slated for iOS 27, will introduce an auto-delete feature for chat histories, allowing users to…

  • Microsoft’s AI Avatars Were Just a Fancy Way to Pretend You’re Not a Robot in a Meeting

    May 18, 2026
    Uncategorized

    Microsoft’s decision to retire Teams’ Together Mode is a classic case of tech overkill trying to solve a problem that never really existed—namely, the existential crisis of virtual meeting attendees feeling disconnected from one another in 2023. The feature was conceived during the pandemic when Zoom fatigue reigned supreme, and seeing avatars floating on desks…

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sparkSammy's Hot Tech Takes

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Disclaimer: This website publishes satirical and parody content. Nothing here should be taken as factual news or serious commentary. (Duh.) All articles are written for humor and entertainment only. (This should be obvious.) The authors are not making real claims, offering advice, or expressing genuine political, social, or personal views. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental—or intentionally exaggerated for comedic effect. (Wow and 2+2=4!)

We reserve the right to write our articles with phrases and/or speech patterns such as, yet not limited to, em-dashes and/or “Okay, here’s the blog post” to parody how some sites nowadays use AI, for better or worse.

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